Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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