i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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