About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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