whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
