It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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