she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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