Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
