Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
