have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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