ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
