physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
