im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
