I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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