I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
