No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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