they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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