8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Drake has all the answers
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