I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize