please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
