I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
