taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
