I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
