She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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