Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
