I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
