toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
