i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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