I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
