So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
