Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
