K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
