fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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