Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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