Don't make out with my wife yet
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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