So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
