I could have mohawked her pubes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dignity is for republicans.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
