Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They have beer where we have blood.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
