Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she looked like the before picture.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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