pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
