The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I puked a lego.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
