Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize