I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
