New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
