Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize