Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
