You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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