i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
