i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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