Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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