Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
