watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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