oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
