Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
