she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
