at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
