White coat. Heels.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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