Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
