you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
