...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize