bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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