Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
