Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
