I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i think i just lost a toe
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
